Impact of Ammaji's Passing on the Ashram Family - 19 Dec 12

19 Dec 2012  Vrindavan, India

Category: Ashram

Ammaji preparing Garam Masala

Ammaji preparing Garam Masala

Obviously, Ammaji’s sudden passing has had a big effect on us, the closest members of the family, but it does not stop there by far. The whole Ashram family and the complete Ashram life is affected and we are still feeling the impact of the shock that this was for the Ashram.

Ammaji was not only our mother, but a mother for all. For years she has given her motherly love to the boys who are living at the Ashram, who come from families who could not afford raising them. Ammaji was mother to a big number of these boys and currently it is six of them who live here and who have been mourning her loss with us. She practically raised Jaysingh and Pawan, who have been with us several years now.

Several members of our staff knew Ammaji for years, too. There is Mamta and her family, who joined us eight or nine years ago. There are Gopal and Babu, who have been at the Ashram for three and a half years. There are Rajaram, Rampal, Devaki, Rukmani and Varsha who have known Ammaji for years, too and then there are so many more who joined more recently. Several of our staff members live at the Ashram or close-by. All of them are working here but the Ashram is more than just a workplace, it is a family. They daily talked to Ammaji, asked her about their tasks, listened to her instructions and did everything with her, obviously also sharing about their lives. All of them were shocked and saddened and they realized how much the Ashram had to change because of her passing.

They all have to do their tasks on their own now, without Ammaji’s guiding hand. She is the one who trained all our kitchen staff from zero. Now they cannot ask her anymore if there should be a bit more of some spice or if the dish should now be on high or low heat – they have to do it by themselves. They have to remember to make yoghurt and ghee because Ammaji is not there anymore to remind them. They need to keep an order in the store and see themselves what is there and what is not, what has to be bought and what will still last.

Without Ammaji, everything is different but I have to praise our staff, too, at this point. Ammaji has trained them well and they do their best to keep life as similar to before as possible. They have prepared her recipes, we even had Gajar ka Halwa, and yes, it is the same recipe. When they made Doodh Bhat, they even remembered to make a separate bowl for Ramona without cardamom, which she does not like. Of course, for me, I am missing the taste of her hands, her love in the food. I now think we could have five or six cooks to prepare our food but still my mother won’t be there to feed us so it won’t be the same. Nevertheless, our staff members do the best they can and they do great, remembering her with what they are doing.

Of course, she is just on everyone’s tongue. On the second day after Ammaji’s death, Ramona was in Ammaji’s room – which will always stay ‘Ammaji’s room’ – and sent Jaysingh to call me over, too. He came in and as usual said ‘Ammaji bola rahi hai’, Ammaji is calling. He was shocked himself about how easily her name came over his tongue and immediately corrected himself but he and we had already become sad about the fact that she would never call us again.

So she was everywhere and is still in our thoughts everywhere. I want to close today’s diary with the words of one of our guests, who was here when she passed away:

What a great person a woman was who leaves such a big hole when she died. And she herself just always saw herself as a simple woman! But the family is strong in their unity and together life will go on, with Ammaji as a shining example in the minds and hearts.

Share this post on: 

Tags:: Ashram, Family, Sadness, Change, Ammaji

0 Comments

Posted By Swami Balendu

Swami Balendu

Older Entries

Children get Clothes

Happy Diwali also for our Children

Happy Diwali to all of you! The Ashram celebrat...

Breakfast

Apra's German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28 Oct 1...

Apra’s German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28...

Distributing Workbooks

New Workbooks for our smallest School Children - 2...

It is Saturday, the weekend has started and for ou...

Fear

Caught in a Web of your own Fears? Here is what to...

Sometimes it is strange for me to see how much fea...

Shirodhara

Shirodhara - Ayurvedic Treatment against Stress, D...

A whole lot is going on, as always, and we are bus...

Peaceful Conversation

A Call for open Communication - because it helps! ...

I have always been a believer in open communicatio...

atheist meeting vrindavan

Thanks to religious Leaders, a cancelled Event mad...

So yesterday was my 45th birthday and definitely a...

Ewai Masti

National Convention on Atheism in religious Town V...

Until now, I have not told you yet about a program...

Balendu and Apra

Treasuring every precious Moment with my Baby - 5 ...

Today I woke up in the morning, as usual next to m...

Money

Please read if the Aim of your Life is all about M...

I yesterday wrote about parents who want to suppor...

Related Blogs

Flower in the Ashram

Don't hit your Children – no matter where you ar...

While the past week’s stories of guests at t...

Children in India

What you can do as a Volunteer at the Ashram in In...

We frequently get requests of people who would lik...

Chhotu at the Ashram

Ashram - a place to connect - 12 Apr 10

Thank you for all your responses to yesterday&rsqu...

At the Ashram

Welcome to our Ashram for a completely non-religio...

I already mentioned that it would have been stupid...

Ashram from Front

5 funny Experiences with Guests at the Ashram - 23...

In the past days I wrote about some funny and stra...

Monkey at the Ashram

When coming to the Ashram feels like a Trip to a h...

If you come to visit us at our Ashram in India, yo...

Visitiors at the Ashram

3 Types of People that want to stay at our Ashram ...

I told you yesterday that we get emails by people ...

Germany

What to do when your Guests start showering with t...

I started telling you about our strange and funny ...

The Rest of the Clothes after everyone took what they needed

Big House Cleaning at the Ashram - 7 Oct 14

Apart from saying goodbye to Jaysingh, there was a...

Ashram

Why we don't greet our Guests anymore by saying 'F...

When I yesterday wrote about a guest who had sex w...

Breakfast

Apra's German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28 Oct 1...

Apra’s German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28...

Guests playing with Children in the Garden

Experiencing the Ashram without wrong Expectations...

At the Ashram we are very busy at the moment &ndas...

Friends

Our Ashram in India - a Place to do Nothing at all...

Yesterday I was talking with Jens and Regina who h...

Ceremony

What is an Ashram - Concept of Sharing - 29 Sep 08

We had a wonderful ceremony in the late afternoon....

A full House at the Ashram

An Ashram in India with mainly western Guests - 11...

I yesterday told you that we had the first honeymo...

Tree in Germany

Why Indians think that western Women are easy to h...

Today I would like to tell you about an experience...

Ashram in the middle of preparations

Preparations for the Event 'Life after Death' - 23...

We are in the middle of our preparations for an ev...

Ashram in India

Do You and the Philosophy of Your Guru Fit into th...

Not very long ago I wrote in a diary entry that pe...

Pawan, Mohit and Jaysingh

Experience of Life brought our Ashram Boys back - ...

Today I would like to write about a bunch of boys,...

Ashram in India

14 Types of People who are Always Welcome at the A...

I yesterday wrote about people whom we would not l...

Have something to say? Post your comment

Comments are moderated and will be allowed if they are about the topic and not abusive.

Get Swami Ji's Diary via Email


Enter your email-address to get news by email!

Feedburner
Blogs
2960
Comments
7384
Topics
83