Expectations make the Difference in between Customers and Friends - 18 May 12

18 May 2012  Vrindavan, India

Category: Expectations

Children at Lunch

Children eating at the Ashram

In the last days I was writing much about beliefs and I also told that when I changed my belief and let people know that I thought different about things, the group and type of people around me changed. I told you that it would not make you an outsider if you tell the truth about what you think but of course, there are a lot of people who may not be interested in being with you anymore. The reality is however that these people are not your friends anyway.

It is true, I have experienced it a lot that people came into my life and left it again. There is however a reason why they leave and the most obvious reason is that there is no love but unfulfilled expectations. You may have changed and now you don’t fulfill their expectations anymore. Friends stay because they are only interested in you, not in what you do for them or give them.

You can compare with owning a shop. Suppose you have a shop and sell lots of different sweets. A person who likes sweets walks by, sees your shop and decides to come in. This person starts loving your shop and becomes a regular customer, buying your sweets, having a chat each time, taking interest and telling of his or her own life. Then there comes the day when you decide to change your product. You realized that you would rather like to sell vegetables because they are better for people’s health. Obviously, customers who like sweets will now not be able to get them with you anymore and will not come anymore.

There will be however a few of those regular customers who are now interested in you and they won’t leave just because you are now selling something else. If they need vegetables, they will now buy them from you and their sweets somewhere else but the main thing is that they come because of you!

In the same way there are always some people who are with you because they believe you can fulfill their expectations. When you cannot to this anymore, they are gone. Real friends don’t do this. Nevertheless, you should not be angry or very sad about it. They gave you an experience and you can learn from it. Accept that they will go somewhere else where their need is fulfilled. With you there will be those who really are genuinely interested in you.

For me this meant that I left behind a lot of followers who wanted me to remain their Guru. When I did not want to embody this role anymore, many were disappointed and left. Then there is the spiritual or esoteric group of people who also have expectations, in all different forms, which I don’t fulfill. So they also don’t stay in my surrounding for too long because I just don’t believe in that.

There is a difference in between friends and customers. Customers want something from you. Friends want you. You can change your business ten times and your customers will change every time. Your friends won’t, they will stay.

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Tags:: Expectations, Friends, Work, Disappointment

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Posted By Swami Balendu

Swami Balendu

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So good to remember and think about when looking at friendships and relationships in general. I had not thought about the idea of customers and true friends, because in truth if they do love you for being you than no matter what happens they will be there for you...the same with family...

Reply By Tricia on August 25, 2012 07:21


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