FEATURED
Previous | Next  

When the Birth of a Child is not a Reason for Joy: the seventh Daughter - 18 Aug 16

18 Aug 2016  Vrindavan, India

Category: Indian culture

Family in 2013

The family in the year 2013 with still five Daughters

Yesterday we got the news that a few of our school girls have got another small sister. Obviously, with 250 children, there are all the time new siblings being born. Normally when you talk about a new life coming to this earth, you feel happy and celebrate. In this case however, we cannot really feel happy with this family – the parents himself are not. The reason is the same but different: it is their seventh daughter!

Oh, we have known this family for so many years and see their development with sorrow: the father is a mason who has already worked on our Ashram building, school building and restaurant building. His eldest daughter was among the first children at our school – and the next three daughters started in the years after that as well. In 2013 I introduced this family to you in my blog. In that time, they had five daughters already and we knew exactly why: they kept on trying to have a son!

The father is hard-working and has managed to save some money to build his home – but obviously it is quite a task feeding six children – and now another belly wants to be filled! We will be here to support the girls with their primary education – but there are other expenses that have to be covered as well!

We actually confronted the father with our concern and were surprised: he started crying and told us that he himself as well as his parents had already told his wife after the second daughter that two children were enough. He complained that everyone suspected him to be the one wanting a boy at all costs – but that in fact it was his wife!

She had even gone as far as to threaten him: if he didn’t make her pregnant again, she would get help by someone else! For her, the reason for not being full of joy about this birth is clear: it is ‘only’ another girl! Another girl to feed, who will have to be married and finally will leave home. No son who will carry on the family name, who will stay at home and earn money for the parents when they are old or whose wife would care for them!

It is unfortunately still like this here in India and this mentality is something which will still take a long time to remove from people’s minds! Girl and boy are not equal here. Parents may love their daughters but daughters and sons are never equal in their eyes. They say it clearly in front of the girls, too: we wanted a son!

I feel for these girls, I feel for these families who increase their poverty only by this wish for a male child. Your daughter is precious and lovely – don’t think she is worth less and don’t make her feel she should be anything else than she is!

Share this post on: 

Tags:: Indian culture, India, Poor, Quality

0 Comments

Posted By Swami Balendu

Swami Balendu

Older Entries

Breakfast

Apra's German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28 Oct 1...

Apra’s German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28...

Distributing Workbooks

New Workbooks for our smallest School Children - 2...

It is Saturday, the weekend has started and for ou...

Fear

Caught in a Web of your own Fears? Here is what to...

Sometimes it is strange for me to see how much fea...

Shirodhara

Shirodhara - Ayurvedic Treatment against Stress, D...

A whole lot is going on, as always, and we are bus...

Peaceful Conversation

A Call for open Communication - because it helps! ...

I have always been a believer in open communicatio...

atheist meeting vrindavan

Thanks to religious Leaders, a cancelled Event mad...

So yesterday was my 45th birthday and definitely a...

Ewai Masti

National Convention on Atheism in religious Town V...

Until now, I have not told you yet about a program...

Balendu and Apra

Treasuring every precious Moment with my Baby - 5 ...

Today I woke up in the morning, as usual next to m...

Money

Please read if the Aim of your Life is all about M...

I yesterday wrote about parents who want to suppor...

Work and Money

Please read if the Aim of your Life is working to ...

I yesterday wrote that you should enjoy your work,...

Related Blogs

Couples in India and the West

A true Story - How Indian Culture doesn't allow Lo...

I would like to show you a story that a friend sen...

Couple at the Ocean

Are you ready to accept the Death of your Children...

Today I am planning to write my very last post abo...

Crowd in India

You have to look at the Dirt in order to clean it ...

While writing so much about my experiences and obs...

Saying Thank you or not in India

Why you don't need to learn the Hindi Word for 'Th...

Whenever people come to India and stay for a while...

Birthday celebration

Price difference for Indians and Foreigners in Ind...

Today was Eric's birthday. He is from Luxembou...

Fear in Family

Why do Indians think Children have to be afraid of...

The children of our school have started their half...

Western Women

India's bad Image for female non-Indian Travelers ...

Last week we got the news that a female Danish tou...

Teeservice

The Formality of an Invitation - and what happens ...

When writing about Indian habits, there is one mor...

Himalaya

Don't make fast judgments about another Culture &n...

We have made a lot of experiences with guests at t...

Streets of Vrindavan

India's Problem following up on Commitments - 30 J...

As funny as the normal Indian’s perception o...

Indian Standard Time

The Infamous IST - Indian Standard Time - 29 Jul 1...

As I was already writing about Indian habits, I th...

Indian Women

Daily sexual Harassment in the average Indian Woma...

While writing mainly about sexual harassment of we...

Working Women in Delhi

Life for Women in India is changing - but not wher...

I yesterday explained how a lot of old traditions ...

Two School Girls

Young, modern-thinking Indians: are you ashamed of...

A while ago, I was contacted by a young Indian man...

Negative Pregnancy Test

The horrible Consequences of Pressuring Women to b...

I yesterday told you about the expectations that I...

The boys of the Ashram

To Knock or not to Knock - That is the Question - ...

I was writing about differences in culture and abo...

Elderly Women

Just getting old doesn't make you wise, so stay po...

I would like to start writing about a topic today ...

Ramona and Apra

Why do Indians have so many Expectations on their ...

My wife Ramona said the other day, quite out of th...

Girls in India

Religion and Dowry Tradition Leave Baby Girls Unwa...

Yesterday I explained you the system of dowry in I...

Indian Bride

Rape within Marriage doesn't exist in India becaus...

I would like to write about an issue which is an e...

Have something to say? Post your comment

Comments are moderated and will be allowed if they are about the topic and not abusive.

Get Swami Ji's Diary via Email


Enter your email-address to get news by email!

Feedburner
Blogs
2960
Comments
7383
Topics
83