FEATURED
Previous | Next  

When the Birth of a Child is not a Reason for Joy: the seventh Daughter - 18 Aug 16

18 Aug 2016  Vrindavan, India

Category: Indian culture

Family in 2013

The family in the year 2013 with still five Daughters

Yesterday we got the news that a few of our school girls have got another small sister. Obviously, with 250 children, there are all the time new siblings being born. Normally when you talk about a new life coming to this earth, you feel happy and celebrate. In this case however, we cannot really feel happy with this family – the parents himself are not. The reason is the same but different: it is their seventh daughter!

Oh, we have known this family for so many years and see their development with sorrow: the father is a mason who has already worked on our Ashram building, school building and restaurant building. His eldest daughter was among the first children at our school – and the next three daughters started in the years after that as well. In 2013 I introduced this family to you in my blog. In that time, they had five daughters already and we knew exactly why: they kept on trying to have a son!

The father is hard-working and has managed to save some money to build his home – but obviously it is quite a task feeding six children – and now another belly wants to be filled! We will be here to support the girls with their primary education – but there are other expenses that have to be covered as well!

We actually confronted the father with our concern and were surprised: he started crying and told us that he himself as well as his parents had already told his wife after the second daughter that two children were enough. He complained that everyone suspected him to be the one wanting a boy at all costs – but that in fact it was his wife!

She had even gone as far as to threaten him: if he didn’t make her pregnant again, she would get help by someone else! For her, the reason for not being full of joy about this birth is clear: it is ‘only’ another girl! Another girl to feed, who will have to be married and finally will leave home. No son who will carry on the family name, who will stay at home and earn money for the parents when they are old or whose wife would care for them!

It is unfortunately still like this here in India and this mentality is something which will still take a long time to remove from people’s minds! Girl and boy are not equal here. Parents may love their daughters but daughters and sons are never equal in their eyes. They say it clearly in front of the girls, too: we wanted a son!

I feel for these girls, I feel for these families who increase their poverty only by this wish for a male child. Your daughter is precious and lovely – don’t think she is worth less and don’t make her feel she should be anything else than she is!

Share this post on: 

Tags:: Indian culture, India, Poor, Quality

0 Comments

Posted By Swami Balendu

Swami Balendu

Older Entries

Breakfast

Apra's German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28 Oct 1...

Apra’s German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28...

Distributing Workbooks

New Workbooks for our smallest School Children - 2...

It is Saturday, the weekend has started and for ou...

Fear

Caught in a Web of your own Fears? Here is what to...

Sometimes it is strange for me to see how much fea...

Shirodhara

Shirodhara - Ayurvedic Treatment against Stress, D...

A whole lot is going on, as always, and we are bus...

Peaceful Conversation

A Call for open Communication - because it helps! ...

I have always been a believer in open communicatio...

atheist meeting vrindavan

Thanks to religious Leaders, a cancelled Event mad...

So yesterday was my 45th birthday and definitely a...

Ewai Masti

National Convention on Atheism in religious Town V...

Until now, I have not told you yet about a program...

Balendu and Apra

Treasuring every precious Moment with my Baby - 5 ...

Today I woke up in the morning, as usual next to m...

Money

Please read if the Aim of your Life is all about M...

I yesterday wrote about parents who want to suppor...

Work and Money

Please read if the Aim of your Life is working to ...

I yesterday wrote that you should enjoy your work,...

Related Blogs

Public Toilets in India

The Problem of Toilets in India - not enough, too ...

Today I would like to write about a topic which I ...

Indian Man Chatting

Are you an Indian Man having online Sex Talk with ...

I have described the disappointment of many wester...

Rapists being arrested

Rapist Judges - when Rape is not a Crime but used ...

While I was writing about problems of sexual haras...

Sightseeing

Dying in India surrounded by Family - 23 Jun 09

Yesterday I was asked if there are people in India...

Swami ji with friends

Indian Hospitality also out of India - 22 Jan 09

Today in the evening we were invited by an Indian ...

Do not spit Sign in India

The ugly Indian Habit of spitting anywhere they wa...

Today’s blog will be about a topic which is,...

The boys of the Ashram

To Knock or not to Knock - That is the Question - ...

I was writing about differences in culture and abo...

Young People in Delhi

Why young Indians don't have to think twice before...

Last week I told you about the metropolitan cities...

Girls at Lunch

The Disappointment when a Girl is born - even in I...

When writing about Monika yesterday, I again had t...

Couples in India and the West

A true Story - How Indian Culture doesn't allow Lo...

I would like to show you a story that a friend sen...

Ramona and Apra

Why do Indians have so many Expectations on their ...

My wife Ramona said the other day, quite out of th...

Indian Bride

Rape within Marriage doesn't exist in India becaus...

I would like to write about an issue which is an e...

Apra

Pretending to take away a Child's Toy is not funny...

Last week I told you how a stranger in a shop brea...

Indian Girls

Shaming and blaming Rape Victims in a Society of s...

In the past week I have written about sexual crime...

Friends in Germany

Misuse of Dowry Law - Change in Society necessary ...

Yesterday I wrote to you about the bad situation t...

Swami ji

Innocent Childhood Memories of India - 14 Jul 09

In every culture a child grows up and has certain ...

Crowd in India

Indian Men: What you need to change if you don't w...

I have spent the past week describing the dangers ...

Western Woman finding herself alone in India

Why the Indian Man with whom you talk online about...

Yesterday I started writing about a very important...

Fear in Family

Why do Indians think Children have to be afraid of...

The children of our school have started their half...

Indian Women

Daily sexual Harassment in the average Indian Woma...

While writing mainly about sexual harassment of we...

Have something to say? Post your comment

Comments are moderated and will be allowed if they are about the topic and not abusive.

Get Swami Ji's Diary via Email


Enter your email-address to get news by email!

Feedburner
Blogs
2959
Comments
7384
Topics
83