How much Time do you have for your Relationship? - 20 Dec 10

20 Dec 2010  Wiesbaden, Germany

Category: Relationships

Time in Relationships

Yesterday I said that people don’t have space in their lives for their parents and grandparents. It is true, I very often see and hear this. People don’t even have time and space for each other in their relationship!

In my healing sessions I very often have to ask people if they take enough time in their day for their relationship. I get funny answers, some people live together but sometimes don’t even see each other for several days!

Why? Both are working, sometimes at different times, then there are hobbies, children and their appointments, then she goes to visit her parents or he goes to meet his football friends. At the weekends he needs time for sports and she wants to go shopping with her friends. He goes for another meeting with potential customers and she prepares a presentation for next week’s work. There is no time for their partnership.

You need to take time out of your busy day for your relationship for it to work. Otherwise it is only an agreement of living together and from time to time sleeping with each other.

I have the feeling that many people actually want to take time for each other and know that it is important but then have so many other goals and things they need to do that they don’t manage.

They have high ambitions in their job and career. For this you have to invest time into work. They want to achieve or keep a good living standard and for that need to earn money.

Again, for this you have to invest time into work. And then of course you need to have social contacts. You should also do some exercise to stay healthy.

Well, ambition, work, social life, sports, you can mention many things that keep you from spending time with your partner. The reality is however, you need to give your partner and your partnership time. Give time to love! Otherwise you will feel that the spark is gone. You didn’t give the spark any air to start a fire! Or you had a fire and you smothered it with all those things that were more important.

In a relationship you need time for each other. Be with each other!

Here in Wiesbaden now everything is ready for leaving the apartment. Thomas, Iris, Ramona and I are going to fly to India today! We have booked on the same plane and tomorrow will be writing from the Ashram. We are all looking forward to a little bit warmer weather and the beautiful time of Christmas at the Ashram.

Share this post on: 

Tags:: Ashram, Children, Friends, Health, Love, Money, Relationships, Work, Feelings, Time, Ambitions, Partners, Spark

13 Comments

Posted By Swami Balendu

Swami Balendu

Older Entries

Children get Clothes

Happy Diwali also for our Children

Happy Diwali to all of you! The Ashram celebrat...

Breakfast

Apra's German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28 Oct 1...

Apra’s German Grandparents in Vrindavan - 28...

Distributing Workbooks

New Workbooks for our smallest School Children - 2...

It is Saturday, the weekend has started and for ou...

Fear

Caught in a Web of your own Fears? Here is what to...

Sometimes it is strange for me to see how much fea...

Shirodhara

Shirodhara - Ayurvedic Treatment against Stress, D...

A whole lot is going on, as always, and we are bus...

Peaceful Conversation

A Call for open Communication - because it helps! ...

I have always been a believer in open communicatio...

atheist meeting vrindavan

Thanks to religious Leaders, a cancelled Event mad...

So yesterday was my 45th birthday and definitely a...

Ewai Masti

National Convention on Atheism in religious Town V...

Until now, I have not told you yet about a program...

Balendu and Apra

Treasuring every precious Moment with my Baby - 5 ...

Today I woke up in the morning, as usual next to m...

Money

Please read if the Aim of your Life is all about M...

I yesterday wrote about parents who want to suppor...

Related Blogs

Statues at the Khajuraho Temples

Your Partner wants to, you don't - but avoiding Se...

In the last days I wrote about affairs and one-nig...

Kiss

How to deal with Relationship Problems which arise...

It has been a week of writing about different issu...

The Best in Bed

Do you also think you are the Best in Bed? - 30 No...

I have written about open relationships and my opi...

Swami Balendu on Cheating

The Cheater's Rule: You are allowed to cheat other...

I was telling you of counselling sessions that I r...

Cheating hurts

Cheating made easy online - Business of Sex, Love ...

Yesterday I wrote about Nithyananda and mentioned ...

Birds over the Yamuna River

Why it can be difficult for western Women to build...

I have been writing about challenges that western ...

Suraj writing

Love the Habits of your Partner - 19 Jan 10

Yesterday I mentioned small habits that people som...

Winter in India

Devotion in Relationships - 17 Jan 10

Yesterday I said already that physical closeness i...

Amla Pooja

You want Change - Change Yourself - 7 Nov 08

In a relationship acceptance is necessary, too. If...

Bed

Adventure, Thrill, Excitement and Failure of Relat...

I yesterday told you how many open relationships b...

Swami Balendu and Ramona

Loving someone doesn't take away your Freedom! - 3...

Yesterday I told you of a woman who came to me for...

My Parents and my Daughter

The biggest Love I have ever seen: the Relationshi...

It is still difficult to walk around at the Ashram...

Insecurity in Relationship

Overprotective Parents create Insecurity in Relati...

Someone wrote to me in reaction to a diary entry o...

Not allowed in Temples during Menstruation

Western Women married in India: do you follow 'Ind...

I yesterday explained that a western woman marryin...

Swami Balendu

You cannot pause a Relationship to 'take a Break' ...

Obviously, we were on Gran Canaria not only to see...

Swami Ji and his brother Yashendu

I Love my Husband like a Brother - Losing Relation...

There is a sentence which I have heard sometimes i...

Flower

Cheating and Breaking Hearts - 27 Apr 10

Of course I meet people in all situations of life,...

A happy intercultural Couple

An Example how Intercultural Couples have to meet ...

I yesterday explained that there are cultural diff...

Swami ji

One Spark, Another Spark and where is the Love? - ...

Yesterday I told about a friend who was shocked wh...

Relationship with Husband like with Father

Are you searching for a Father in your Relationshi...

When I said yesterday, that some parents are overp...

Have something to say? Post your comment

Comments are moderated and will be allowed if they are about the topic and not abusive.

Comments

Healthy relationships do require time and effort, whether it is a relationship with yourself, your spouse, your family, or your friends. I also think it is very important for parents to spend time with each other without their children. I know that when two individuals with careers have children, it can seem like the only time they will have together is when they are parenting their children. But it is so important to find alone time for you and your spouse without the children to keep that spark going. Being a parent can shadow all other identities and you forget why you love and cherish your spouse. But when you maintain your intimate and personal connection with your spouse, you keep that relationship healthy while juggling all the other roles you play in life.

Reply By Emily on October 06, 2011 04:41


I have met people who have been so physically and emotionally starved by lack of relationships (romantic/friendship/family) that when they try to form one it is a messy disaster. I have met a lot of people like this. It is not easy for others to be around them or to have a relationship with them.

Reply By Sandra on January 22, 2011 06:19


I see people around me spending all of their energy desperately struggling to build an image or idea of themselves. Whatever they achieve is not quite enough. And it never will be. What they are looking for comes from letting that idea fall away completely. I just wish they knew it.

Reply By Agatha Cole on January 22, 2011 06:05


I don't think there is anything wrong with putting your career over your family. As long as I continue to ask myself if I am honestly happy and my honest answer is "yes", I think I am in good shape.

Reply By Seth on January 22, 2011 06:01


I agree Swami Ji. I find I have a lot more time to spend with my family if I work unconventional jobs. It is not just a time issue. I also feel happier (although I'm not sure why) and that gives me the ENERGY I need to spend time with my family. Instead of being a chore it is a delight.

Reply By Carl McFaden on January 22, 2011 05:59


Load More Comments

Get Swami Ji's Diary via Email


Enter your email-address to get news by email!

Feedburner
Blogs
2960
Comments
7384
Topics
83