If something is different than you thought, accept it and see the beauty of the difference.
Accept yourself as you are. You can follow a good and healthy example but don't go in any competition. You are fine as you are.
If someone cannot accept you how you are, how can they love you? And then, why do you need to worry about what they think? We do not accept others as they are and we do not accept ourselves as we are. And then we struggle.
If your pain is chronic and incurable, accept it and accept it with love.
Please don't live with a different identity. The creation is wonderful as it is, accept that. If you do not accept god's creation you do not accept your own soul. Stop fighting against your true self! Self-confidence can only come after self-acceptance.