07 May 2008 Luneburg, Germany
Category: Anger
Today I had a lot of healings. One woman came and told that she was suffering very much and had many bad feelings. Her ex-husband had left her two years ago after a relationship of nearly 13 years for another woman. He told her on one day and two days later he moved out. Now she found out that soon he is going to marry the woman that he had left her for. She asked me what she could do to finally let him go. To my question she said that she was actually suffering the whole two years since he went. They had met once afterwards and she wanted to hear the reason why he left her and what had been her mistake. They both cried in that meeting but he did not tell her any reason.
She was very emotional when she told all this. I could see how much she had suffered but I also saw that she had not lived the anger and fury that naturally came after this separation. I told her how necessary it is to allow yourself to get angry. You have to accept your anger. It is a natural feeling if somebody does that to you! god also created this feeling. It is a negative feeling, yes, but you are not bad when you have this. It is there and you need to live it!
He could not face her when she asked him for the reason which means that he also felt guilty. She suffered for two years instead of letting the anger out. She asked me how she could accept that anger or how she could live it. And I explained her that she could let her anger flow.
Maybe I have described this technique already: when you go to toilet, take a pen, take toilet paper and write everything down that makes you angry. Write as though he is sitting in front of you and let all your anger out. When you have written down everything, use the paper for its original purpose and then flush it down the toilet. Just flush it all away.
She said that she would like to have a nice end to it, that he values their relationship. She also told that the marriage is on the same day that he had left her. I answered: After you have accepted and flushed away your anger you have to forgive him and then forget him. Don't even remember the date. What for? Why should you suffer any longer from this? If you do not get over this all you will suffer another 5 or 10 years. You already suffered 2 years from suppressed anger. So first of all you need to accept your anger and let it out, second you forgive him and third you forget him. There are so many other beautiful things in life. He is not anymore part of your life. Enjoy the world and God's creation and you will be again happy, laughing, loving.
I meet so many people daily and they share their problems with me. I am a healer and I give advice and counseling. And sometimes I share my experiences in this diary without revealing anybody's identity because I feel that many readers might be in a similar situation or have the same problem. This diary is read by so many people around the globe and I am sure that it helps some of the readers or that the readers can recommend to someone who is in one of the situations that I described.
Tags:: Anger, Emotions, Relationships, Forgiving, Feelings, Suppression
11 Comments
Posted By Swami Balendu
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This is a good point, Swami. Sometimes people know that they don't feel right, but they haven't really consciously acknowledged their emotion, thoughts, or why they are occurring. I have commented before about EFT (emotional freedom technique) in which you tap on pressure points on the face and head while saying affirmations. The first step in EFT is to tap while acknowledging the emotion: "I am so angry right now. I can't believe he did that to me; it hurts me so much." This helps to bring the emotion to the surface and clarify all the why's and how's of the emotion. In the next round of tapping, you say more positive affirmations about the emotion: "Although I am angry and hurt, I completely love and accept myself." This technique supports the idea that we must first honor and recognize an emotion before we are able to clear it from our mind and body.
Reply By Emily on October 07, 2011 11:49
sometimes it just seems like people WANT to be in pain, and that's probably why he left her in the first place. She needs to do herself a favor and get on with it. The rest of life won't slow down for our problems so we have to live fast and hard and get all we can from life. Can't spend all our time wallowing, now can we?
Reply By Hilary on December 28, 2010 03:13
I understand the feeling of wanting to know that at least she had meant something, anything at all to him. Sounds like he was unhappy or along time and she just didn't see it coming or hoped it wouldn't. these things don't just come out of thin air and I can understand wanting to mean something to someone, especially after that long. I don't know how you would get over that except for the fact that you HAVE to. I imagine the pain would be really big, which is all the more reason to deal with it and get past it. I wish her luck.
Reply By Rebekah on December 28, 2010 03:11
How do you get over a 13 year relationship when ultimate the person left you because you weren't good enough. What an ugly blow to your sense of worth. I can't imagine the strength it would take to let go of the pain after so long.
Reply By Jessica on December 28, 2010 03:07
I feel so bad when I'm angry. I think maybe I'm just not confident enough to get angry a lot of the time. I am always kind of proud of myself when I get pissed off because it makes me think maybe I am getting more confident with myself!
Reply By Chelsea Waters on December 28, 2010 03:05
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