06 Jan 2009 Edinburgh, United Kingdom
Category: Identity
I met a person who told me his story. He was quite emotional with that and I could feel his pain. With tears in his eyes he said: “Swami Ji, I feel that I am always playing a role. Everywhere it is a different role. There are different places and different people and it seems like I have many different faces. That is why I feel nobody really knows me. Nobody knows who I am and what my real personality is. And sometimes at work I would like to show my colleagues that I am not only the tough guy who is hard in negotiations and who makes every deal for the profit of the company but in that time I cannot come out of the role.
If I showed who I am I would not fulfil their expectations anymore. They would be disappointed and see me in another way. In this whole game I sometimes feel like I am losing myself. I ask myself if I am only the actor who plays a certain role or if I have my own personality which I would like to live. But it seems so difficult. Sometimes I want to run away from this and I don’t want to be part of this drama anymore. I would love to live in this way that you talk about, being in my originality and expressing what I have inside, not what people expect from me.”
I said to him: “You are in this system and have spent your whole life living like this. So I agree with you, it is difficult, but again I would like to say that it is your own decision how you want to spend your life. Only like a slave doing what others expect from you and play the role of someone who you are not. Or do you want to live a true and honest life? It is very possible to live that but you need to take your decision and have the courage. It will not work from one day to another, it is a process but you have to start it. Then you will see how nicely you are enjoying your life.”
Yesterday evening we started from Schwabmünchen, came to Frankfurt by train and took a flight from there to Edinburgh. It is nice to come here after a long time. I am with my old friend Julie who is originally from Edinburgh but we met when she was living in Amsterdam with her husband Alex. When I was in Amsterdam last time she had the strong wish to have a baby and asked me to give her healing so that she gets pregnant. I am very happy that she got pregnant and now has a two and a half year old son. They moved from Amsterdam to Edinburgh and invited me now to come. For one week I will be with them here and we will have meditation, healing sessions and a chakra dance party.
Tags:: Expectations, Identity, Disappointment , Decision, Honesty, Role
4 Comments
Posted By Swami Balendu
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I can see how this would be a very difficult situation for this man. And it's true that his work colleagues may not accept him in his new, and real, role. But I would have to say that, if he is not really being himself in this hard-negotiator role, then maybe that career no longer suits him. Maybe he would be better off getting a different job where he can express who he truly, naturally is. But this, in itself, is hard to do... but I think well worth it.
Reply By Emily on October 18, 2011 12:30
You know the interesting thing- many people can tell you aren't being yourself. Just try it. Say "I like this, I don't like that." Practice. Being yourself... there is no dilemma in that. It is absolutely the only answer.
Reply By Terri on January 03, 2011 02:02
What is disappointing is when someone isn't themselves after you've known them for years.
Reply By Brian on January 03, 2011 02:00
it is hard to change your roles, especially if your roles put you in a position of power. a rich man can almost never release his wealth. I commend this man for at least seeking help, hopefully he was successful.
Reply By francisca on October 22, 2010 02:36
Today was the last day of the school year 11/12. The children got their report cards, the olde...
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SourcePeople usually cannot accept when the other person is different than in their imagination. It is ego. It sounds childish but if you are honest and have a close look at your actions, it is a common attitude in adults, too.
SourceIncrease your ego until you say ‘I am god’. I am that. You are that source that you come from, you are that! Tat Tvam Asi. But not only you, everyone around you, too!
SourceKnowledge you can get without limit. But getting knowledge and knowing is something different. You can collect knowledge or you can get to know. There is a difference between talking about love and falling in love.
SourceCrime and Religion - why are they so close?
SourceGurus sitting on golden thrones, silver pots around them, wearing golden necklaces and jewelry with kilos of gems and precious stones just show that it is simple religious business, nothing else.
SourceMoney does not make people rich or poor. Someone who has 1000 Dollars seems rich to someone who only has 100 Dollars whereas he seems poor to a millionaire. Numbers don’t make you rich. Some millionaires whom I consider poor and I have seen people who don’t have money but who, to me, are very rich people because of their big heart and generosity.
SourceIn western cultures family relations and love relations are often destroyed by ego, when all energy is spent on destroying, creating problems and separation.
SourceThe karma philosophy makes it easy to escape responsibility!
SourceRelationships are like hand-painted pictures. Every picture is different and it takes time until you have discovered every small detail that the painter has added.
SourceDon't try to control everything!
SourceMaking an effort to make your loved one happy makes you happy. This is love: you want to make your beloved happy.
SourcePeople often say and do things that they don’t believe in. How long can you play such a drama? You have to live in your original consciousness.
SourceVirtues is like fictional money with which you can buy an entry ticket for heaven!
SourceA bath in the Ganges will wash away your sins -how practical! No matter how many sins you do, just go and wash them all off!
SourceYou have to take responsibility for your life. You can make a change, nobody else can do that for you.
SourceThere are places in this world where women are sold because religion says they are just like objects that a man possesses. Is religion really something you want to believe in?
SourceJealousy is just a natural emotion. If you feel jealous, allow it. If you struggle or fight with it, it will irritate you more. You can be jealous, but realize that it is not a grown-up emotion. Realize your feeling, accept it and let it go again. If there was a justified reason for it, express it. If it was not, express it to yourself and then let it go. There is no sense in being upset about the fact that you have this feeling.
SourceReligions explain that women should be obedient, submissive and not displaying or enhancing their beauty, that people of another belief are to be killed, how non-believers would be tortured and how they would suffer before their death and in the afterlife or next life.
SourceFollow your teachings yourself. Your teaching only has power if you live it yourself with your honesty. A smoker cannot give a lecture about the harm of smoking.
Source
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