06 Jun 2009 Essen, Germany
Category: Western culture
Yesterday was Darshan and I was saying, as so often in this meditation, that it is so hard for people here to express their emotions and feelings. And today in the morning Ramona and I were talking about the Darshan. Ramona said ‘It is difficult to feel the reaction of people to what you are saying. You cannot easily tell if they like what you are saying or not. Do they appreciate it or not?’
I said that this is the same thing what I am always talking about. People cannot express what they are feeling. Many times they do not even really know what they think of it, if they like it or not. They are looking at their neighbours and see what their reaction is. That makes it more easy for them to follow the same reaction. It is again the same topic: you are not sure about your own feelings and cannot express them.
Then I gave Ramona one example. I have been in some musical program or concert and I saw that although it was a very nice program, nobody applauded. I wanted to clap my hands but then I was informed that I should not applaud now, but in the end, that is the system. But for me clapping my hands is a natural reaction and sign of appreciation. If I like something it just comes automatically. But here you cannot clap in between, it is not allowed. And in the end everybody was applauding. This means that you have to hold yourself back, you are not allowed to express it.
In India I have seen that people express their appreciation right away. If they like something they will not wait for another hour to say it or to clap. You will hear or see it right away. For me it seems more free whereas here things go with the system. You need to learn when the right time for appreciation is. You cannot let it flow.
And in this way Ramona said that when I am talking or she is translating, you cannot see in people if they like it or not because they keep their face fully flat. I told her that in India you will know immediately. You can see their reaction and their emotions in their eyes and faces. And from that I was getting more inspiration to continue my lecture and talk. This is what I always encourage people to do in Darshan or in chakra dance parties like today: Express your feelings.
Tags:: Emotions, Indian culture, Western culture, Feelings, Expression
3 Comments
Posted By Swami Balendu
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I think for the most part Westerners are blank because all reactions are supposed to be filtered.
Reply By Greg on January 05, 2011 06:14
You know I can understand why Westerners are hard to read. I personally am hard to read because I am often reacting to many things at once so I mask them all until I can be alone and sort through them. I wonder if other Westerners are like this too?
Reply By Saundra on January 05, 2011 06:09
It is a funny thing, when we are taught not to express ourselves you would think that things become clear when someone starts expressing themselves the other people who were taught not to express often don't know how to interpret. they think there is an alterior motive behind the expression. it is very hard to take things at face value when you are taught not to express and it is easy to become offended.
Reply By Durage on October 26, 2010 12:24
Today was the last day of the school year 11/12. The children got their report cards, the olde...
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Religion allows you to use your intelligence but only in a very limited way. You can never question the religion itself.
SourceSoul is energy, the life in someone, our basic element, which moves us and keeps us alive. When there is no love in a relationship, we say it is dead. When there is no business in a company we say it is dead. Whenever the basic element of something is gone, we call it dead. When our basic element is gone, we are dead. And our soul is our basic element.
SourceSome people love money and collect it but do not enjoy it. Nobody can take money with him when he leaves this world! So why to collect? Enjoy!
SourceYou are not responsible for everything and everybody. Relax, lean back and watch what others are doing. It is fine, enjoy whatever comes!
SourceDharma is not religion. Dharma is the tasks that I want to do from my heart, not something that I have to do because I was born to Hindu parents.
SourceYour decision of not feeling guilty also shows your forgiveness. When you are feeling guilty it means you cannot forgive yourself. Accept your mistake, say sorry and leave the guilt.
SourceWe are destroying this world in our egoism and nature shows us exactly that. We need to think of the generations that come after us and not leave them a big mess just because we felt too comfortable and were too lazy to clean up and do something different.
SourceFlexibility is Hinduism's biggest quality and its biggest drawback!
SourceIf you want to believe in the original form of Hinduism, you cannot convert to it. You are either Hindu-born or you are non-Hindu. If you follow any Guru or sect, you are a member of a Hindu-based sect or cult, not a Hindu!
SourceWhy do you eat Pig and Cow but not your Dog?
SourcePeople put a label on everything, on themselves and everybody else, creating limitations! We are all the same, have the same soul and live on the same planet.
SourceIt is always possible to have a friendly relation if two people respect each other.
SourceHappiness should be our normal state of mind.
SourceHuman always wants to believe what is suitable and comfortable for them. It is easier to follow the scriptures blindly without looking left or right than trying to deal with difficult issues.
SourceDon’t be afraid to act differently. It won’t make you an outsider if those around you really love you. You have to be honest in order to feel good about yourself.
SourceIn a relationship acceptance is necessary. If we cannot accept the other on how he is, we will not be able to maintain a successful and loving relationship.
SourceOnce you have lit the fire of love, you need fuel to keep it alive. Trust is the fuel for love.
SourceThe words ‘followers’, ‘disciples’ or ‘devotees’ give much room for abuse of the relationship to a guru.
SourceDon't expect more of yourself than your natural limits allow!
SourceWhen you change yourself, things start changing around you. It works!
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