21 Apr 2008 Erkelenz, Germany
Category: Parenting
We were talking about the topic of yesterday's diary and Peter said that boy whom we had seen smoking yesterday had Carolin's age, only eleven years. And he said another true thing: there are teenagers who are sitting there, smoking and drinking and if you see their parents you will see that they, too, smoke and drink.
The children just do what they see at home. They want to be adult, they want to be grown-up and so they imitate their parents. The parents have to be an ideal, have to be a good example and have to show what is right or wrong to their children. Being an example for someone gives a lot of responsibility. When a boy sees at home that the father invites friends each weekend and together they drink a crate of beer then he will want to do the same with his friends because this is what adults do in his eyes.
However he cannot know how much his body can take. Even if the parents are drinking one glass of wine after dinner they have to realize that their children, who are watching this each day, might not be able to distinguish between one glass and one bottle. As a father or as a mother you have to take the responsibility of giving your child a good example.
There has to be a moral concept and the parents have to convey certain values but at the same time they need to have moral strength to stick to these values. It will be of no use to tell your twelve-year-old child that alcohol and cigarettes are bad if he or she knows that you are smoking one packet of cigarettes each day. Unfortunately the surroundings are displaying cigarettes and alcohol as something 'cool' and mature. However we need to give a guideline and a good example to our young people.
This is also my idea and I have the dream to see centers all over the world that also provide a place for teenagers and youngsters to be in a loving surrounding without alcohol, cigarettes or drugs.
In India I am also helping children but there, the problems are different. There is not enough money to buy food and to finance the education of children whereas here seems to be too much money. Food is thrown away and children have the money to buy cigarettes. I support children in India with their problems and I want to support young people here, too. I want to offer them an environment where they can be themselves, get some good influence and maybe learn a little bit of Ayurveda, yoga or whatever they are interested in. This is my idea and my dream for the young people here.
Now we will have dinner and after that we will have Darshan. There will be some people who had been to healing sessions already, others whom I know from programs in other cities and probably also some new faces. It is always a nice mixture of energy when there are some who are looking forward to this energy which they enjoyed the last time and some who are exited about how it is going to be.
Tags:: Children, Food, Money, Parenting, Alcohol, Responsibility, Smoking, Teenagers
8 Comments
Posted By Swami Balendu
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Children do not only learn by doing, but also by seing. And what do they see and get to know at first? Their parents! So how can they learn (for example) that conflicts, fighting, smoking or drinking is bad, when their own parents don't show them anything else? From whom should they learn?
Reply By Mirela on August 13, 2012 03:12
This is a wonderful idea. Teens in the West need help as they grow. Life seems so difficult and confusing in those times. Every kid just needs someone to talk to, a place to feel love and acceptance, and a way to feel good about themselves. These centers would be really amazing for kids and teens everywhere. I hope these centers become realized... I'd love to help the movement!
Reply By Emily on October 20, 2011 04:38
If a parent is imbalanced and trying to fill a hole in their lives through smoking or drinking or eating food that is bad for their bodies the children not only mirror this behaviour but they also sense the deficit- the void the parents is trying to fill will be evident to the child. It is important to heal yourself so you can present a way to a better life for your children.
Reply By Theresa on December 28, 2010 01:38
I just don't understand parents who think they can be horrible and still demand their kids not follow in their footsteps.
Reply By Hannah on November 08, 2010 06:44
I learn a lot from my children and they learn a lot from me. I like to think we find our way through life together. There openness helps me see how unimportant so many of my concerns are. And sometimes, having little experience, they simply don't know what to do in tough situations. We have a tradition in our house. When someone feels sad, or afraid, angry or embarrassed, or anything else like that we go sit at the dinner table together and we draw and talk about our feelings. A physical visualization of a bad emotional experience seems to really help my kids express themselves and to not be so afraid of being upset. I am finding more and more that it helps me as well.
Reply By Anonymous on October 25, 2010 03:47
Today was the last day of the school year 11/12. The children got their report cards, the olde...
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